Pain of a smile...

Winds blow to the calling moon,
Covering vast lands and ruin,
Of all shapes and sizes, it is crescent
Reminding of the past unpleasant.

Sitting back you throw a smile,
In all honesty, it does seem stupefying,
but the corner shows a little rile,
and the moon gazes back once in a while…

Dismay is what the eyes seek,
but the sight is obsucre and vision meek,
Slowly, the trance shifts to a muddy pool,
glancing upon a lotus trying to play it cool.

Focusing on the petal movements in the shine,
Swaying merrily to hide the withering in its prime.
You wave to the flower, for it’s support,
It is too late for heroics as nothing is holding it’s fort.

You curse the heavens, spurnt of joy,
Words echo and forth lightning strikes;
An angel appears and pleasantly dices
the air into elements of utmost prize.

Narrowing the eyes, she holds the hands,
Giving an innocent smile, like engraved statue of sands,
Touches the forehead with a strand of her hair,
Panorama of expressions come, revealing the pair.

Smile and Pain are partners in trade,
Without one, the other fades.

The angel vanishes like a dream,
Making you wonder if this is sane,
To decide, all you have is a
little smile and a little pain…

Kai Po Che

“Kai Po Che” -  A Gujarati phrase which means, “I have cut the kite.” It’s significance cuts in much deeper. It transcends into a jubilant and triumphant yell, celebrating life in small things.

I just caught the last show of the film, an adaptation of Chetan Bhagat’s popular novel – ‘Three Mistakes of My Life.’ Getting mixed reviews, I didn’t have high expectations from the movie; lest it turns out to be another one of those, “Copy plot, kill the story” kind of movies. I was surprisingly and pleasantly proven wrong. The film has much to offer and the director, Abhishek Kapoor (of Rock On! fame) and the new actors have done a fabulous job. Apart from spotless direction and acting, the film actually manages to keep the audience engaged all along.

This got me thinking. The movie was good and full marks to everyone involved. Still, what was so special about this movie ? Similar stories and projects on them have come and gone. What makes this one stand out?

I kept pondering over this all the way back home and the scene of the three protagonists, cutting loose and showering in the bitter sweetness of their friendship on top of a fort, kept flashing across my mind. I thought to myself, “This has to be it. Friendship. Friendship is what makes it different.” I replayed the scenes of the movie inside my head.  The scene with them starting out on a sea of uncertainty to the scene where differences creep into their friendship and threatens to part these inseparable souls, each scene relates perfectly to the phases of a  friendship in reality.  The closeness of thoughts, the intimacy of dreams, the shared happiness, the bitter parting, the egoistical separation and the traumatic unrest  leading to a reunion only to strengthen the bonds further, is more or less a friendship’s life.

The movie highlights many other themes along with it but it is up to each individual to select his pick and relate to it. Friendship is something that I have learnt to value over the years. I have moved around a lot and met a good number of people. I loved some of them and despised others. I am not sure whether to call them friends or not. I shared my fun with some and agony with other. Some brought out the devil inside me and others, saint. Some even betrayed me.  The term ‘friend’ is very vaguely used nowadays. Instead, I would say ‘acquaintance’ is a more appropriate word. But all this, makes you realize and believe in the strength of an actual friendship.

Friendship is the best gift life can give anyone and it is a gift we all need. As shown in the movie, friendship is holding hands and jumping in the vast sea together, having faith in each other irrespective of the hopelessness of everything else. We have friends for putting smiles on their faces and lending shoulders for their tears. 

So guys, make sure that you have some mindless, stupid, annoying, irritating idiots whom you call friends. I (coincidentally, also Ishan  ) am certainly lucky to have  some Omis and Govinds  in my life.

The saying – “You don’t make friends, they make you.” is certainly a very true one. 

Kai Po Che !

The oak and the bird

Far over a forest distant,covered with trees thick

Was home to an oak plant;life to it was mystique

Lying in the shadow of tall and gracious pine

the world seemed all good and assumably fine

One fine day, sun shining bright and plenty of light

Filled the forest with a sound; it was music alright

Hovering over the trees was a beautiful bird

singing and chirping with all its might

The oak was struck with wonder and delight

Started a conversation that was harmless in plain sight

Oak asked the bird to be its friend and sing for it

and the bird gently obliged.

The friendship grew stronger over passing time

it was as that the two of them had a common rhyme

The bird wanted to be closer to the oak

but had to contend with branches of other tall folk

The distance was there but it didn’t matter

Oak had a belief ;tied were they by a bond greater

Motivated the oak, grew with all its strength

Tallest and largest it became until he was spent

The oak and the bird were finally together

They wouldn’t be anywhere but here rather

Time stopped and waves were musical

Little did the oak know that he was being whimsical

The happiness was short-lived for the oak

As the bird decided that it was time to go

There were oceans to cross and forests to sing to

Being at one place was now against the freedom !

She bid farewell and was on her way

The oak tried to convince her but she didn’t sway

The happiness that was once there left only pain

The world didn’t make sense anymore,everything was insane

The oak wanted to make everything right

He wanted to hear the sound; that was music alright

Sadness was in the heart, staying happy became a fight

Tallest it was , but was still looking for some light.

Far over a forest distant,covered with trees thick

Was home to an oak plant;life to it was mystique !

An embodiment of love and struggle: Meri Nani !

All my life, I have received lots of love and care from many people: my parents, relatives, friends to list a few. But the feeling of love I got from my Nani was very unique. I never really expressed my inner feelings about her with anyone, not even with her. I should have done that while I had the time. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference apart from giving her happiness which I think I owed her.

I am sorry that my beloved Nani is not with us anymore and I pray that her soul rests peacefully in heaven. Being a little on the sentimental side, I was shocked and saddened deeply by the news of Nani’s demise all of a sudden. After all, I just met her two days back and we celebrated her b’day but nothing could stop the inevitable. My wise brother ( a little too wise for his age) told me  that “Death would come to each one of us and we should be happy that Nani led a content life having seen all her children settled well and grandchildren getting married. Even her death was painless, without any troubles.”  I guess these words do make some sense and somehow I felt it comforting.

I thought of writing this blog to try to express what I really felt about my Nani or rather what all of us, right from Vicky Bhaiya to Yeshu would have felt. There is this very special bonding between grandchildren and their grandparents without which a person’s childhood would be far from complete. I am sure that all my cousins would agree with me on this as all of us have had our lives impacted by her in some manner or other. I still remember, when I was a kid back in Kanpur and Nani used to visit us, there was this tussle between Vishu, Tunu and I. Vishu is my first cousin who also lives in Kanpur. Tunu and I always wanted Nani to stay with us at our place while Vishu wanted her to come back to his, leaving Nani in a dilemma. This usually ended up in all three of us staying at one place with Nani ! (Tunu and Vishu : I think you guys remember this  ). Nani also had many tales to tell us and her collection seem inexhaustible to me at that time. To me, listening to your grandparents telling you some made up story is one of the best memories of your life and I have been rather lucky on this account.

I have forgotten many things but still one incident is duly etched in my mind and it is nothing very  special or different but still amazing in the way, I never forgot it. It was my b’day ( I don’t remember which one but I was a small kid then ) and I got a mini shotgun for kids from Nani. It was my most prized present at that moment and I kept it safely all wrapped up, lest it might break. I slept after that. On waking up, I directly went to take my gun and it was there as I left it – nice and clean. To my horror, as soon as I started playing with it, it popped in two. I suddenly realized the reason of Tunu and Vishu’s silent gaze as they were hiding behind Nani. I was so furious and would have thrashed them if Nani hadn’t intervened. She simply asked me to sit beside her and told me that toys can be replaced and I should forgive the guys as they were my younger brothers and always care for each other. This wasn’t very comforting that day as I really just wanted my gun back  but over the years as I keep recollecting this memory, I understand the feelings she was trying to inculcate. 

Time passed by and I wasn’t a kid anymore. My interactions with Nani became less as I became busy with my own life. Its not ideal but sadly true – Everyone,after growing up,loses touch with people they cherished while growing up ! Even though the interactions reduced but I became aware of many other facets of her character. Not only was she a loving and caring grandmother but also a strong woman. From my Ma’s account of her childhood, I could gather the difficulties Nani faced in her life and the struggles that were there all along. In spite of all that, she did everything for her family. Its rare to have such strength and its even rarer to have humility in the face of adversity. My Nani would be a perfect example of such a rarity. My admiration for my Nani kept on growing.

Meanwhile, she kept  narrating those stories to my younger cousins and imparting the same feelings, which I guess still keeps our family bonds intact. Over the years, wrinkles on Nani’s face increased and the hair grew even more silvery but the glow on the face was still there, reflecting the warmth of her heart. Her strength faded with time but her caring and humble nature didn’t. She is no more with us but I would always remember my loving Nani in her white serene form, smiling back at us. 

A new genesis !

As the popular cliche goes – It is never too late to start, here I am with my first thoughts about to be  posted down. As this comes in the wake of 21st Dec,2012 popularly known as the doomsday or the end of humankind as we know it today, hence the title.

For quite some time, I have been thinking of blogging about things spiraling in my mind but couldn’t gather enough motivation to start and yet today, after spending the full day in lazy slumber, watching Dabangg2 with a 40 bucks ticket and a long drive to popular but inconspicuous biryani restaurant just to cheer up my mood, I find motivation to write.

To be honest, I have been finding  it difficult to raise my spirits from past few days. Such kind of mood can make you completely uninterested in things you used to love or find joy in something useless. All this hullabaloo about the world ending this December and people making all kinds of plans to have fun and enjoy may have been discarded by many as irrelevant but I drew a completely different meaning from all this.  

I thought of this as a spirit of living and never giving up ! The end of the world is just the same as the end of your desire to carry on. Life may throw rocks at you, toss you around the ground umpteen number of times but you still have to cherish it. It may be turning into an inspirational plane but this is something I have felt very strongly.

Being a true pessimistic, I always look at the worst possible scenarios and add even more depressing climaxes to it in my imagination but maybe the end of Mayan counting and the world surviving it  means or more precisely feels that a change is needed. I think I will try to and I hope that everyone else will also take this as a sign to change as they have always wanted to be.

I don’t think such a simple thought should require anything more than this. I am not feeling sleepy though (owing to the full day sleep I enjoyed). I have my earphones on for some hours of peaceful music.

Meanwhile, A very happy Christmas and a New Year to everyone !