All my life, I have received lots of love and care from many people: my parents, relatives, friends to list a few. But the feeling of love I got from my Nani was very unique. I never really expressed my inner feelings about her with anyone, not even with her. I should have done that while I had the time. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference apart from giving her happiness which I think I owed her.
I am sorry that my beloved Nani is not with us anymore and I pray that her soul rests peacefully in heaven. Being a little on the sentimental side, I was shocked and saddened deeply by the news of Nani’s demise all of a sudden. After all, I just met her two days back and we celebrated her b’day but nothing could stop the inevitable. My wise brother ( a little too wise for his age) told me that “Death would come to each one of us and we should be happy that Nani led a content life having seen all her children settled well and grandchildren getting married. Even her death was painless, without any troubles.” I guess these words do make some sense and somehow I felt it comforting.
I thought of writing this blog to try to express what I really felt about my Nani or rather what all of us, right from Vicky Bhaiya to Yeshu would have felt. There is this very special bonding between grandchildren and their grandparents without which a person’s childhood would be far from complete. I am sure that all my cousins would agree with me on this as all of us have had our lives impacted by her in some manner or other. I still remember, when I was a kid back in Kanpur and Nani used to visit us, there was this tussle between Vishu, Tunu and I. Vishu is my first cousin who also lives in Kanpur. Tunu and I always wanted Nani to stay with us at our place while Vishu wanted her to come back to his, leaving Nani in a dilemma. This usually ended up in all three of us staying at one place with Nani ! (Tunu and Vishu : I think you guys remember this 
). Nani also had many tales to tell us and her collection seem inexhaustible to me at that time. To me, listening to your grandparents telling you some made up story is one of the best memories of your life and I have been rather lucky on this account.
). Nani also had many tales to tell us and her collection seem inexhaustible to me at that time. To me, listening to your grandparents telling you some made up story is one of the best memories of your life and I have been rather lucky on this account.
I have forgotten many things but still one incident is duly etched in my mind and it is nothing very special or different but still amazing in the way, I never forgot it. It was my b’day ( I don’t remember which one but I was a small kid then ) and I got a mini shotgun for kids from Nani. It was my most prized present at that moment and I kept it safely all wrapped up, lest it might break. I slept after that. On waking up, I directly went to take my gun and it was there as I left it – nice and clean. To my horror, as soon as I started playing with it, it popped in two. I suddenly realized the reason of Tunu and Vishu’s silent gaze as they were hiding behind Nani. I was so furious and would have thrashed them if Nani hadn’t intervened. She simply asked me to sit beside her and told me that toys can be replaced and I should forgive the guys as they were my younger brothers and always care for each other. This wasn’t very comforting that day as I really just wanted my gun back but over the years as I keep recollecting this memory, I understand the feelings she was trying to inculcate.
but over the years as I keep recollecting this memory, I understand the feelings she was trying to inculcate. 
Time passed by and I wasn’t a kid anymore. My interactions with Nani became less as I became busy with my own life. Its not ideal but sadly true – Everyone,after growing up,loses touch with people they cherished while growing up ! Even though the interactions reduced but I became aware of many other facets of her character. Not only was she a loving and caring grandmother but also a strong woman. From my Ma’s account of her childhood, I could gather the difficulties Nani faced in her life and the struggles that were there all along. In spite of all that, she did everything for her family. Its rare to have such strength and its even rarer to have humility in the face of adversity. My Nani would be a perfect example of such a rarity. My admiration for my Nani kept on growing.
Meanwhile, she kept narrating those stories to my younger cousins and imparting the same feelings, which I guess still keeps our family bonds intact. Over the years, wrinkles on Nani’s face increased and the hair grew even more silvery but the glow on the face was still there, reflecting the warmth of her heart. Her strength faded with time but her caring and humble nature didn’t. She is no more with us but I would always remember my loving Nani in her white serene form, smiling back at us.
means or more precisely feels that a change is needed. I think I will try to and I hope that everyone else will also take this as a sign to change as they have always wanted to be.